Life as a "new" father
I've been wanting to blog about this for weeks now. Actually, I've just wanted to return to blogging period. I've been so busy preparing for the new baby and working that I haven't had time to blog. I'm making an effort to blog like I used to before I was "kicked off the airways." I'd like to do it daily. I have a lot to talk about, and this is just one of many posts to come.
Alright, so I'm not totally new to this fathering thing. When I met my current wife, she had two kids, 10 and 7. However, as of January 30, 2008, at 9:56 p.m. I was introduced to the world of fathering an infant. Edward William arrived two and half weeks early and only weighed 5 lbs, 8 oz. He was 19 in. long. I'm the oldest of 19 grandchildren, so I've been around infants for most of my life, but I wasn't prepared for this.
Alright, so I'm not totally new to this fathering thing. When I met my current wife, she had two kids, 10 and 7. However, as of January 30, 2008, at 9:56 p.m. I was introduced to the world of fathering an infant. Edward William arrived two and half weeks early and only weighed 5 lbs, 8 oz. He was 19 in. long. I'm the oldest of 19 grandchildren, so I've been around infants for most of my life, but I wasn't prepared for this.
Work gave me a week off for paternity leave, and I thought I would get a little bonding time in with my little bundle of joy, but I was surprised that this little bundle had some surprises for me. First, Edward was breech, so that created some problems for my wife during birth, forcing a C-Section (add on 5 weeks of recovery). Then, he lost a lot of weight during his extended stay in the hospital while wife recovered from her surgery to the point that they almost did not let him come home with us. But, wife and son did come home three days after birth, and let the fun begin.
Of course, infants don't sleep through the night. That's a given. However, given the fact that I'm bipolar, I'm on medication that helps me sleep through the night. Talk about a dilemma. Do I take the medicine that helps me sleep, or do I stay up and help wife with the new baby? For the first few nights, I tried to do both, but it just didn't work. I would wake up to his cries in a daze, and just couldn't keep my eyes open. My wife insisted that I continue to take my medication, so I didn't have the option of getting up with her. I feel horrible for that, especially since Edward has a problem feeding, which makes it difficult for those late night feedings for my wife. Those first few nights, she really could have used my support to help her, but I just couldn't do it.
I tried to help out during the day as much as possible with the baby, but my wife had other ideas. She wanted me to spend time focusing on the other kids and the house work so she could recover and take care of the baby. We had a small fight over what exactly she wanted me to do, mostly because both of us were sleep deprived, but once we got everything worked out, things went smoothly. I got to spend some time with Edward during the day while my wife slept, and she took the night shift. I also did the housework and took care of the kids, getting them to school in the morning and helping them when they got home from school. That was the first week.
The second week, wife's parents came in from MI. It was a bit rough at first because during that first week, my wife would take son out into the living room during the night so I could sleep. With her parent's staying with us, they were sleeping in the living room, which meant wife, baby and I were in our room. So, I was awoken every two hours to a screaming baby, never being able to get into my REM sleep that is so important to someone who suffers from bipolar disorder. Wife's parents helped by getting the kids off to school, cooking, cleaning (still don't know where some of our stuff is) and doing laundry (dying my favorite beige sweater pink). I was late to work every day because I couldn't get myself out of bed I was so tired from not getting any sleep. Wife's parents left Thursday before I got home (so I wouldn't get mad at them about the sweater), and we were back to just the five of us again.
Last week, I took vacation from work to spend time with my son, but that did not exactly go as planned, either. I ended up getting sick for three days, and spent the rest of the time getting caught up on the housework before having to return to work on Monday. I spent the week sleeping on the couch so I could get up in the morning to get the kids off to school. Wife and I kinda have this new system worked out where I go to bed around 11 and get some sleep, and she stays out in the living room napping and watching our son until around 3 or 4 a.m. before she comes to bed. Then, my son wakes me up around 6-6:30, my wife feeds him, and I start my "waking-up" routine.
Of course, infants don't sleep through the night. That's a given. However, given the fact that I'm bipolar, I'm on medication that helps me sleep through the night. Talk about a dilemma. Do I take the medicine that helps me sleep, or do I stay up and help wife with the new baby? For the first few nights, I tried to do both, but it just didn't work. I would wake up to his cries in a daze, and just couldn't keep my eyes open. My wife insisted that I continue to take my medication, so I didn't have the option of getting up with her. I feel horrible for that, especially since Edward has a problem feeding, which makes it difficult for those late night feedings for my wife. Those first few nights, she really could have used my support to help her, but I just couldn't do it.
I tried to help out during the day as much as possible with the baby, but my wife had other ideas. She wanted me to spend time focusing on the other kids and the house work so she could recover and take care of the baby. We had a small fight over what exactly she wanted me to do, mostly because both of us were sleep deprived, but once we got everything worked out, things went smoothly. I got to spend some time with Edward during the day while my wife slept, and she took the night shift. I also did the housework and took care of the kids, getting them to school in the morning and helping them when they got home from school. That was the first week.
The second week, wife's parents came in from MI. It was a bit rough at first because during that first week, my wife would take son out into the living room during the night so I could sleep. With her parent's staying with us, they were sleeping in the living room, which meant wife, baby and I were in our room. So, I was awoken every two hours to a screaming baby, never being able to get into my REM sleep that is so important to someone who suffers from bipolar disorder. Wife's parents helped by getting the kids off to school, cooking, cleaning (still don't know where some of our stuff is) and doing laundry (dying my favorite beige sweater pink). I was late to work every day because I couldn't get myself out of bed I was so tired from not getting any sleep. Wife's parents left Thursday before I got home (so I wouldn't get mad at them about the sweater), and we were back to just the five of us again.
Last week, I took vacation from work to spend time with my son, but that did not exactly go as planned, either. I ended up getting sick for three days, and spent the rest of the time getting caught up on the housework before having to return to work on Monday. I spent the week sleeping on the couch so I could get up in the morning to get the kids off to school. Wife and I kinda have this new system worked out where I go to bed around 11 and get some sleep, and she stays out in the living room napping and watching our son until around 3 or 4 a.m. before she comes to bed. Then, my son wakes me up around 6-6:30, my wife feeds him, and I start my "waking-up" routine.
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